It’s Just a Touch

I like my own space, especially when I’m around people I don’t know very well and even around some I know too well. But I’ve found that I feel like I know someone better and make a more sincere connection if they touch me or I touch them. Just a reassuring touch on the forearm to personalize a thought, a touch on the shoulder or a pat on the back to acknowledge or welcome.

These are simple touches that immediately make me feel closer to that person. Surely we don’t like the “all hands” kind of guy that paws all over you. And certainly there are men, family included, that tend to touch a female in places that he shouldn’t, even if they are family. No grown man should be patting a female on the butt unless that female is your significant other. Butts are better left untouched by all others.

And here's something your mother never told you. When someone walks up behind you and offers to massage your shoulders, they really are wanting to be intimate. Anytime someone uses their hands to rub on someone elses body, there is a sublime (or not so sublime) message there. It is a way to "innocently" tell another person that you would really like to rub and massage their body in less than innocent ways. So the next time someone offers to massage my shoulders, I'm going to turn around and wink at them because I know what they're up to.

But barring those among us that overdo a sensitive touch, we need to all be more physical. I think we need to learn to hug more. But in my opinion ALL hugs should be originated by the female if it’s a male/female hug. I would never move toward a female with the intent to hug her unless she had reached to hug me first. And the reason is simple. There are a few men who love to feel a female every chance they get and will take advantage of this innocent behavior to fulfill their own needs. So girls, when these men approach you for a hug, put your hand out for a handshake. This puts space between you and the groper and keeps them at a distance.

So ladies, anytime you get the chance and feel comfortable about it, hug those near you. Squeeze hard and pat them on the back. And men and ladies, reach forward and touch the hand or arm of someone you are having conversation with to show them that what they are saying is of utmost importance to you and you are connecting with them, not only mentally but physically.

And when you walk by someone close to you, reach over and put your hand on their shoulder. Make that connection. It's simple, it's harmless, and it will enrich the life of the person you touch and your own life, as well.