It Must Be Me -Part II

I was in line at a fast food restaurant yesterday and waiting patiently as the first guy places a huge order. No problem, he was there first. There was a guy behind him then me, in line 3rd. We would just have to wait our turn. The guy up front finishes and pays, the guy in front of me steps up to the register and the cashier ask for his order. He puts his hand to his chin and starts perusing the menu like they just put it up there. I'm thinking, we've been standing here for 10 minutes and you wait until you step to the register to decide what you want to order?

Riding back on the freeway, which is now THREE lanes wide, we are cruising at a comfortable 73 miles an hour. We approach traffic stretched across all three lanes. Driver in the far left lane is going about 69 miles per and refuses to budge. We have three lanes of traffic on a freeway totally tied up because someone can't read the sign "Slower Traffic Keep Right". Note it doesn't give exception for slower traffic traveling at the speed limit, it just says SLOWER traffic keep right. If he would just move over, a common courtesy, we could all go about our merry way.

In line to pay for my groceries while the clerk is finishing checking out the lady in front of me. The clerk finally finishes the process and gives the customer her total. Now this lady starts looking for her purse and then digging for her wallet and starts beginning to get her money together. I guess it was a big surprise to her after the 10 minute check-out process that the clerk was going to ask her for money!

So that I don't have to write a blog describing your bad behavior, please decide what you want to order before you step up to the register, move your ass over to the right lanes on the freeway when faster traffic approaches you, AND get your money out and ready WHILE the clerk is ringing up your groceries.

Is that TOO much to ask? Have a nice day!

With Age Comes Liberation

There's not a lot of things good about getting older. People tend to gain weight, their hair turns gray (and falls out), skin sags, and on and on. It's not a pretty process.

But the one positive thing you gain with age is the freedom to think, say and do as you darn well please. We spend our childhood obeying our elders and living under their rules and guidelines. As teenagers we sometime stretch those rules and boundaries as we begin to experience life. But we still understand our limitations.

Once we are married and have children of our own we tend to live within certain confines of our vocation and social life so that we fit in and set a good example for others. We want to provide the best role model for our offspring as possible.

But once the kids are raised, educated and on their own and our social and financial situations have become somewhat more secure, we can finally relax. We have earned the freedom to be ourselves and we deserve to exercise the rights afforded by that freedom.

If we really want to, we can stay out all night, drink too much, express our opinions and say what the heck we want because we've earned that privilege. We spend the first 50 - 60 years living on the terms of everyone else so we should at least enjoy the remaining years living on our own terms.

So all you kids under 50 years old, respect the freedom afforded with our age. Hopefully you live long enough to become liberated in life, too.

Ideas, Ideals and Ideology

Ideas - a conception existing in the mind as the result of understanding, awareness, or activity. An opinion, view or belief, intention.

I have a lot of ideas. Someone told me just this week that's why I've been relatively successful and never really have done without anything. I'm resourceful. But sometimes my ideas get me in trouble. Everyone doesn't appreciate my ideas, especially when it crosses with theirs.

I'm thankful that I have ideas and I'm not afraid of them or sharing them. I'm just sorry that everyone doesn't understand that and respect and appreciate me and my ideas.

Ideals - conception of something in perfection. Standard of perfection,

My ideals are simple and family based: I believe there are two basic and imperative responsibilities in our lives - our children and our parents. We are the responsibility of our parents until we have children of our own, then those children require our care and diligence and they become our responsibility. As our children get older and are able to fend for themselves, then our attention should be for the interest of our parents.

I've taken good care of both my children and my mother. I have never wavered on those responsibilities because that is such a big part of who I am. I am beholden to my mother who took such good care of me and since I am responsible for my children being on this earth I take their care and that responsibility very seriously. And it shows. I'm very proud of them.

And by the way, one cannot be self-serving, self-centered or otherwise egotistical when they are totally consumed with the care of others. My life's devotion has been with caring for my spouse, children and mother. Whomever thinks otherwise is not very observant and ignorant to the real truth.

Ideology - the body of doctrine, myth, and/or beliefs that guides individuals, movements, or institutions. A philosophy. Ideology has also been defined as a "prescriptive doctrine that is not supported by rational argument"

My ideology is simple: It doesn't matter if you are Hindu, Muslin, Christian, Republican or Democrat you have the right to believe anything you want. I will not debate or argue with those beliefs or disrespect you in any way because of them.

In fact, I will totally respect your beliefs and views. I just ask that you respect whatever ideology I may or may NOT have. 'Nuff said.

Looks Can Be Deceiving

I've been criticized frequently for my belief that there are no bad children, only bad parents. I'm sticking by my guns, though. Each case that I observe seems to point back to the parents every time. I'm sure there may be others where the parents are not to blame, but no one has pointed any out yet.

We know a family that appeared to be the typical, everyday working American family. All their kids appeared to be normal, as they participated in sports and other activities. I will add that the parents were very conservative and evangelical to a point but this appeared to be a perfect family.

When these youngsters reached their late teens, you could see the changes coming. Without going into details, all of the kids turned to heavy alcohol and even drug use. None ever was successful in a relationship (so far) and have been married and living with many different mates. And their career success is mixed, at best, and that's being kind.

We'll never know what went on inside the four walls of this All-American, conservative, religious family. But I can assume from what I've seen as the results, there was much more than met the eye. I wish there could be an actual case study done of how such a seemingly normal family could produce results in ALL of their kids like they did. You can't tell me everything was "normal".

This was not a matter of maintaining control of your children. This father always had control of his. They were not bad children, in public at least. But once they left the confines of that home they did a 180 and have been the worst examples of human being for the 20 years since.

Looks can be deceiving. Sometimes the impressions we get from people and their families must be entirely different from the truth. Maybe it's the multiple personalities that families have taken on in order to be accepted within the societies in which they want to be a part.

Good luck with that.

Spread Your Wings

I grew up in a medium sized southern town that really had everything a normal person would need. There were plenty of job opportunities because of a local air force base and several large industrial-manufacturing companies in the area. For most people this would be enough - a place to make your living, raise your children and be buried within a few miles of each other.

That was not enough for me. We always vacationed at the beach when I was a kid whether we could afford it or not. As I grew into a teenager I felt an even stronger pull drawing me there. The sun, the water, the sand, all made me feel very special. I knew I belonged in the warm sun, near the blue water with sand between my toes.

Why do people get that certain feeling from living at the beach? I for one am particularly fond of bikinis and I always felt like the closer I was to the beach the more girls in bikinis I would get to enjoy. That's true. And that's a great reason to be living at the beach.

I'm not very fond of neckties and wearing coats and jackets. I'm not real crazy about wearing shoes, except for flip-flops. So again, the laid back attitude of a beach town would probably be more accepting of my lackadaisical manner of dress.

I could go on and name a myriad of reasons why I belong here and was born to live here, but that's not my purpose. I did have the spunk to make the hard decision to leave the comfort and security offered me in my hometown. And that, by far, was the hardest thing I've ever done.

Picking up roots, starting a new career, and moving a growing family away from our extended local family was difficult to say the least. I had second thoughts over the first six months of our move and would have easily gone back. But my immediate family backed me all the way. They were determined that there was no turning back.

If you have a dream to go somewhere or do something, you need to be sure that you follow that dream. Our life has been so much better than we ever could have hoped for back in our hometown of safety and security. Certainly we've had many obstacles and issues to deal with, but we were here together and capable of overcoming whatever stood in our way.

Go for it. Spread your wings. Reach out for what you previously thought was impossible. Take a chance. Don't go to your grave thinking about all the things you wished you had done.

Think about the possible rewards - girls in bikinis!

I Love Being in Love

I love being in love. And I don't mean just being in love with one woman. Including that, I mean being in love with nature and the beautiful things all around us. I love butterflies and pretty birds. I love flowers and flowering trees. I love rainbows and storm clouds. I love sunrises and sunsets. I love gazing into the dark sky at night and trying to spot the constellations and planets. I love the beach and feel of sand between my toes.

I love dogs and cats and learning from them. My dogs love me no matter of my political affiliation. They run up to me and wag their little tales when I come home, even if I've only been gone a few minutes. They could care less where I stand on health care or the war in Iraq. They love me unconditionally in spite of all that. They think I'm the most important being in the universe. 

I love being in love with another person. Humans and dolphins are the only species equipped for having sex for the purpose of pleasure, not just pro-creation. The learned among us have concluded that sex for pleasure helps assure that pairs stay together to raise and nurture their young. Sounds like a great plan to me.

So when we achieve that balance with nature; enjoying all that is around us and has been given to us, we can truly be in love. We can immerse ourselves in the pleasures that nature has provided. And we can enjoy those pleasures purely for the sake of pleasure, as nature intended.

We need to enjoy the flight of the butterflies and hummingbirds and the birds dining at the feeder. And consume all the bounties and pleasures nature has provided for us before this day is over.

Then let's get up and do it again!

In Life There Is No Do Over

I've heard people say they've lived their lives with no regrets. I can't imagine. How can you go through your whole life without doing things you wish you hadn't done and not doing all the things that you wish you had?

I would love to have a "do over" in life. Heck, I might even need several. There seems to be a lot of things I would have done differently if I had known the things I know now.

There are so many things that I wish I had not done. There are just as many things that I wish that I had done. There's a lot of things I wish I never had said. And there are just as many things that I should have said when I was given the chance.

So how can you avoid wanting a do over? Well you can listen to what other, more experienced people tell you. But as I've said many times "where's the fun in that?" I know if I could guide my boys through the mistakes that I made and they don't have to make, it would save them a lot of money and probably heartache. Thank goodness they have listened to me about many things and they are in a much better position at this point in their lives than I was.

So my experienced suggestions for all those that may want to hear them, and surely ignore them:

1 - Choose your mate carefully because once children are brought into the world they need both parents to see them through life.

2 - Study, read and learn all you can while still in school. The education and knowledge you gain in your youth will be what supports you as you age. Prepare now and enjoy the results later.

3 - Enjoy life to the very fullest; you never know when it may end. Break free of the shackles of dogma that may bind you, make your own decisions.

As "old blue eyes" used to sing, "Regrets, I have few . . .but I did it my way".

Do things your way, with the counsel of others with greater experience, and keep the regrets to as few as possible. In life there are no do overs.

It’s Just a Touch

I like my own space, especially when I’m around people I don’t know very well and even around some I know too well. But I’ve found that I feel like I know someone better and make a more sincere connection if they touch me or I touch them. Just a reassuring touch on the forearm to personalize a thought, a touch on the shoulder or a pat on the back to acknowledge or welcome.

These are simple touches that immediately make me feel closer to that person. Surely we don’t like the “all hands” kind of guy that paws all over you. And certainly there are men, family included, that tend to touch a female in places that he shouldn’t, even if they are family. No grown man should be patting a female on the butt unless that female is your significant other. Butts are better left untouched by all others.

And here's something your mother never told you. When someone walks up behind you and offers to massage your shoulders, they really are wanting to be intimate. Anytime someone uses their hands to rub on someone elses body, there is a sublime (or not so sublime) message there. It is a way to "innocently" tell another person that you would really like to rub and massage their body in less than innocent ways. So the next time someone offers to massage my shoulders, I'm going to turn around and wink at them because I know what they're up to.

But barring those among us that overdo a sensitive touch, we need to all be more physical. I think we need to learn to hug more. But in my opinion ALL hugs should be originated by the female if it’s a male/female hug. I would never move toward a female with the intent to hug her unless she had reached to hug me first. And the reason is simple. There are a few men who love to feel a female every chance they get and will take advantage of this innocent behavior to fulfill their own needs. So girls, when these men approach you for a hug, put your hand out for a handshake. This puts space between you and the groper and keeps them at a distance.

So ladies, anytime you get the chance and feel comfortable about it, hug those near you. Squeeze hard and pat them on the back. And men and ladies, reach forward and touch the hand or arm of someone you are having conversation with to show them that what they are saying is of utmost importance to you and you are connecting with them, not only mentally but physically.

And when you walk by someone close to you, reach over and put your hand on their shoulder. Make that connection. It's simple, it's harmless, and it will enrich the life of the person you touch and your own life, as well.

Perfect Imperfection

I guess when you hear me ramble about how wonderful my children are and how amazing my princess is, you might get the mistaken idea that I have a perfect life. I call it the essence of perfect imperfection.

That simply means that my life and everything about it is SO full of imperfection that to me it is perfect. I don't want to be one of those people who is always smiling and their mental attitude is always up. I enjoy frowning when I'm not pleased with the world. I enjoy savoring my sullen state in my solitude when I feel like it.

I enjoy the pouring rain as much as I enjoy the sunshine. I've probably had as much fun when I was broke as I've ever had when I wasn't. My vacations with my family were just as perfect riding in that old blue Ford van as they would have been in some fancier automobile.

It seems that the sun always rises in the east and sets in the west no matter how bad or how good things in my life are going. The birds still sing, the osprey still fishes. My puppy dogs still run to greet me when I walk in the door no matter how clever or how dull I am.

My kids are great. And I'm sure if you listen to me talk about them you would be positive I had the absolute greatest kids in the world. While that may be fact, you should be aware of their imperfections. 

Their lack of perfection was taught to them by two less than perfect parents. And they have done their best to perfect the art of imperfection. But I really can't imagine three grown young men that have a more balanced and enjoyable, even if less than perfect. life.

So enjoy the dark, it makes the light even brighter. Enjoy the floods, and remember how nice it is going to be when it dries out. Know that when you have a bad day or bad week, that it will get better. The tide will still rise and fall, just as before.

Wherever we are in the world and in life, we can find something to make our imperfect lives a lot more perfect. So enjoy the imperfection - it's just perfect!

I Make No Apology - For Apologizing

Seems I've been doing an awful lot of apologizing lately. Certainly everyone says and does things they shouldn't do or say and later feel they should apologize for it. Actually, I can't remember the last time someone apologized to me. So maybe it's just me that says and does all these hurtful things.

I certainly do my share of shooting from the hip. I can't say I do a lot better when I sit back and think about it. Many times I write stuff that I've been thinking about and stewing over for days, just so that I can attempt to say the right thing. But some subjects are almost impossible to write about with any degree of truthfulness and not step on someone's toes - ultimately hurting feelings.

So based on that assumption, I guess we should all just keep our trap shut. That's what my sweetheart tells me all the time. But I just feel that if someone has got something to say and it's really how they feel and from their heart, maybe they ought to say it. I'm not defending people who write and say mean things just to retort to someone else.

So if I've said or written something to offend you, I'll probably do it again. Mostly because those that I offend know the subjects on which I write and continue to come and read my postings.

So I apologize in advance for all the mean things that I may unintentionally say or write that may offend you and hurt your feelings in the future.

I mean it.

A Special Kindness

How can you not love dogs, or cats, or any animal for that matter? But I'm really not talking about the animals; I'm talking about the people that love them and those that don't.

I know people who wouldn't miss a birthday card, a funeral, or visiting the sick in the hospital but they wouldn't give a stray dog a second look. How do you figure that? These people seem to be full of so much love and care but not for anything but humans, humans in need.

Maybe it's the pat on the back or the thank-you or the recognition you get when you help or are around needy humans. Humans can be vocal about their gratefulness and make you feel good about yourself. I don't know, I'm not as much of a people person as some others.

But I do know this; there is no richer love than offered to you by an animal. My dogs really don't care what I think or write, how I look or smell, or what mood I'm in, they still jump up and down with joy each time they see me. To them I am the center of the universe. They never talk back or argue with me.

I have four dogs to care for because I have a soft place in my heart for animals. I picked up the last two because I wanted to provide a better environment for them. I have almost picked up others but I really don't have any more room (or money) and it wouldn't be fair to those that I already have.

My observation is that all humans should be required to care for some type of animal. There is a special love and understanding required for caring for animals and we need to use that part of us. If you don't you are selfish, self-centered and unwilling to do your part to make the world a better place.

If you don't walk in the door each day to an excited puppy dog jumping around your feet welcoming you home, you are missing one the most special feelings life has to offer.

Regrets - I Have a Few

I chose this title from the famous Sinatra song "I Did It My Way" because I see and hear people talking about their guilt and regrets. I don't know if I'm proud or sorry to say that I have no regrets and very little guilt. That may surprise all you guilt-mongers but that's just the way I am.

Certainly there are things that I would do differently if given a do-over because we can't do everything right the first time. But that doesn't mean that I regret what I did, I could just do something better if given a second, or third, or fourth chance.

So what creates this guilt in your life? Is it other people that expect more of you than you can give? Or do you have some dark little secret that only you are aware of? Are you still living within the Judeo-Christian ethics system that will weigh you down and bury you with guilt? Or is your guilt from the strict guidelines of overbearing parents or the unachievable expectations even from our own children, which by the way they learned from us?

Get past those things that are holding you back from enjoying all life has to offer. You should begin today taking control away from those that have caused you to restrain from all the fun things you want to do. It's your life, YOU need to be in control.

So sit down and think of all the things you've always wanted to do but were afraid someone would judge you and you would be ashamed if someone caught you. My hedonistic philosophy says If it feels good, won't get you arrested and doesn't hurt anyone else it's definitely something you should do. And don't be embarrassed or ashamed.

Come out of the closet of shame. Nothing should bring you shame that gives you pleasure. Shame, guilt and regret are matters of the mind that are created by OTHERS and placed upon YOU.

I will not be shackled by the guilt YOU feel!

Offer Your Child Success

School has started back I wanted to mention some of the things that I KNOW work for helping a child be successful in life. You can't do the work for them but you can point them in the right direction and help them make right decisions.

The two things that make a difference in success or failure in life boil down to a person's general knowledge and vocabulary. When I speak of general knowledge it's information that we learn from various sources about history, our world and other people. If you watch Jay Leno's "Jaywalking" you will understand what I mean. He stops people on the street that cannot even tell you how many states are in the U.S. and other ridiculous information that you would assume everyone would know.

Vocabulary is another very important part of life. When I was in business you would be surprised at how many resumes and application went straight into the garbage from people who could not create a clear sentence and spell correctly. And these were applications for barely more than minimum wage jobs. I would not even consider these ignoramuses.

Reading books, magazines, and newspapers provide this information after you are out of school. But while your kids are in school you need to be sure that they do all their reading assignments and reports. The ability to read and comprehend and then write down on paper ideas and thoughts about what you read are paramount in gaining a professional well-paying position in the future.

And lastly put your kids in the music program at school. I can see the many friends of my kids on Facebook that were in the band and the majority are in well-paid professional positions. I'll admit there are exceptions, but as a general rule those that are involved in the school music program have double the chance of graduating high school and continuing on to college and beyond.

The funny part is that I've told this to many, many people. And you know what? Very few pay attention. And most that continued to let their children do what the child wanted to do, now have grown children struggling to make the grade in a lowly community college and are usually working somewhere as a bar back to earn a living.

Success in life has a simple formula just like losing weight. We just can't seem to handle the simplicity.

Not All Fun and Frivolity

It may appear that I am not taking a very serious look at all the things in life that tend to cause us pain and suffering. It may even appear that all I'm interested in how much fun I can have. If that's what you think, you're probably right. Remember the philosophy of the hedonist - toward pleasure away from pain.

And I wish that was always possible. I wish we could always go toward pleasure and avoid pain and suffering all together. But that's not the case. There are many more people suffering in poverty, homelessness and sickness than there are those of us who are enjoying our lives. And I truly wish that wasn't the case. But it is.

Will I eventually be one of the sufferers and not one of the ones having all the fun? I'm sure that time will come. A time of sickness and a time of death will affect all of us either indirectly or directly eventually. It's all part of being human.

I hope I won't taste the pangs of hunger, poverty and homelessness. I think I've prepared myself with education and experience to be above that. But since I've never been there I'm not totally sure of what things may happen in life to cause you to fall to those depths. I'm sure there are people experiencing conditions in their life that they never expected and weren't prepared for.

So what can I do amidst all this affliction and anxiety? I'm going to do my best to avoid in it my own life as long as I can. I'm going to continue to look ahead and protect my health as long as I can by being proactive in the things that I do. I will to be reasonable with my finances and again, look and plan ahead always attempting to stay ahead of the curve.

One thing I'm not going to do is enter a great depression of "woe is me". I will maintain a positive attitude and continue to seek out all the pleasure that I can find while I'm able to enjoy it. I will continue to extol the virtues of living freely without being fettered to any doctrinal dogma that confines my activities based on the piety of others. 

I will share with others the joys of this profligacy and hopefully will change a few boring lives along the way.

My self-indulgence has not bounds.

Talk To Me

The language of lovemaking does not need to be verbal. Most everything expressed during sex can be transmitted in moans and movements. The rate and intensity of your breathing speaks volumes. The gyrations from your hips provide a roadmap for him to follow. You just need to provide the signals upon which he can react.

Instruction during lovemaking requires a fine balance; too little and you leave him guessing. Too much and he is intimidated. Men need signs from their ladies confirming what he's doing feels good to you. He wants to know he is providing the pleasure you expect and deserve.  Here are some recommendations:

#1 Nonverbal instructions can easily be conveyed using your hands. Simply put his hand where you want it to be. With your fingers on top of his create the movements that you like. When he begins to do things the way you want it done give him some positive reinforcement by squirming, moaning or pulling yourself into him. Press on his hand when it's good; ease his hand back when it's not.

#2 Let him know that he has taken your direction and is now using it for your pleasure. When he starts to go the wrong way, don't pull away. Please, no quick negative reaction. That can be a mood killer. Slowly change positions, rotate carefully in another direction or begin aggressive sex play on him. This stops the discomfort without bashing his ego. He wants to please. He wants direction. Just try to keep it positive.

#3 Guide him with the only word you ever need during good sex - YES. Whispering that single word when he has found the mark is the most positive sign you can give. Men love to hear YES. The louder and more frequent we hear YES the harder (pun intended) we try. YES is our verbal aphrodisiac. Keep saying YES and we know we are giving you what you want.

There are two sides to this story. Men want, more than anything else, to please you during lovemaking. And selfishly they like a little attention along the way. Remember, both of you need to provide direction to each other. Sexual communication is the key to a fantastic sexual relationship. Provide the signals he needs to be your perfect lover AND encourage from him the guidance you need to reciprocate.

Life's Hurdles - And I'm Too Old to Jump

I observe people everyday running their own little "track" of life and attempting to jump the hurdles as they approach them. Most of the time they successfully make the leap over the hurdle and continue running on the other side at full speed toward the next hurdle.

But sometimes as we get a little slower, little more exhausted, and yes, a little older, we can't quite seem to clear the top of that hurdle. And when we don't clear the hurdle, many times we fall flat on our face. Most of the time we are able to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and continue on toward the next hurdle. But sometimes we feel like just laying there and enjoying our misery.

I've been tripped up by a few life hurdles a few times and got dirt all over my face. Even though you would think it gets harder and harder to get up as you get older, I'm still springing right back to my feet and running again. I refuse to be knocked down and stay down as long as I'm able to pick myself up in one piece and go again.

So here's to "screw you world, you can't keep a good man down".

I'll drink to that! (green tea, of course)

Having A Strong Passion For Life And Love

People who approach their daily lives with zest and strong emotion seem to carry those intense feelings over to their relationships and love life. If you expect your relationship to have passion, that emotional energy should be at work in your hobbies, interests, and other fun time activities.

Studies have shown that your brain's reward centers respond similarly to love as to getting excited about your other daily interests. Getting "fired up" in all areas of life translates into firing up the feelings you have in your love life. 

I enjoy all the things that life has to offer. But what makes it so enjoyable is someone that shares my passion(s) with me. Having someone by my side (or just behind me) on a bicycle, lying beside me in the sand at the beach, grabbing the camera for her own shot, or paddling in our canoe keeps that bond strong.

And the strength of that bond of activity directly transfers to our personal and private relationship. It seems the more we do together as a couple the more intimately our mind, body and soul connect. The more time I spend close to her, the more time I want to spend close to her. The voraciousness of my appetite for her grows with our continual connection.

Spending time together is important but it’s how you spend your time together that influences your relationship satisfaction. Be sure the time you spend together includes plenty of new and challenging activities.

If you love someone, you want to spend time with that person, and the more time you spend together, the more your love, and the intimacy that comes along with that, will grow. 

Interesting Information

Can't figure us men out? Here are 5 clues:

1 - Men are more likely to miss subtle signals like tone of voice or facial expressions. If you want to make sure he gets the message, be direct.

2 - Showing appreciation for him can make a big difference in the way he acts.

3 - The majority of men think about sex at least once a day, compared with only a quarter of women. And that's not all. Men fantasize about sex nearly twice as often as women do, and their fantasies are much more varied.

4 - Men strengthen their relationships primarily through shared activities more than by sharing thoughts or feelings. For many men, shared activities like sports and sex make them feel closer to their partner.

5 - Most guys like to be pursued and wish their partner would take the lead more often. Don't be shy about letting a man know you're in the mood.

Luckily I know someone who already knows this.

My Hands On Approach to Romance

You'd be surprised at how many couples, some married many years, who hardly ever touch. Sure he'll grab her hand and lead her down a sidewalk or through a crowd, but not in a very romantic way.

I can always tell the general feelings of affection when I'm around other couples by how "hands on" they are. Those that are together because it's too much trouble not to be are obvious. They never sit too close. Rarely touching. They never look at each other and they never include their mate in their personal space.

You see, when you are so madly and foolishly into someone you just can't keep your hands (and feet, but that's another story) off them. You want them sharing every inch of your space with you. I constantly want to feel the warmth of her body and if I take her hand, or she takes mine, it's not to lead the way but to feel the spark between our palms travel from the top of my head to the tip of my toes.

A simple hug can speak volumes in a few seconds about your love and lust. When I put my arms around her my fingers travel the length of her spine to reach the small of her back creating shock waves between our spirits, even if only for a moment. I appreciate every sensation as her body presses against mine. Then as we back away the consciousness of the shared sensations are stored as sensual energy for later.

Public displays of affection? There can never be too much affection, public or private. Yeah, there comes a time to "get a room" but I certainly don't mind seeing a couple so absorbed in each other that no one else matters. Those complaining are usually loveless, jealous, anti-romantic begrudging beings only wishing it were them being doted on.

Live, love and touch. Touch a lot. Be familiar with every inch. Know it well. Be able to feel her touch even in your dreams. Then make your dreams a reality.

Where Is Your True Love?

There is just something that makes life so much more fulfilling when you're in love. A feeling of completeness totally encompasses your body when you're deep down truly in love. A simple touch ignites a spark, a word can cause your eyes to twinkle and a kiss can . . . well you know where that can lead.

There is no way to explain to another how one can find love, especially true love. It happens to the fortunate ones mostly by accident. Fate brings together two kindred souls crying out for the other. Many times the cries are not heard, or worse, ignored and the pair is never bonded.

Where does one find the lover of their dreams? I have always suggested to those who ask they should seek true love in places where you imagine that your special person may be. If you want a professional, hardworking family-oriented mate then spend your time in the places that person may frequent. If you want an alcoholic, chain-smoking one-night stand, then hang out in bars around midnight. You will surely find exactly what you are looking for.

So what's the lesson here? Love and your true lover is somewhere waiting and looking for you. The problem is you are not frequenting the same places. Imagine and dream of your soul mate. Then go where they are. And when you get there carry yourself in such a way that they will notice you and immediately know that YOU are the one they've been waiting for.

Wait! That's Me!

I got a lot of response when I was blogging about rude, insensitive and sometimes just plain unaware people out there that get in the way of the rest of us. Then I got to thinking about other types of behavior that drives people crazy.

You know the guy that runs right up on your back bumper, almost pushing you out of the way. Tailgating within inches of your vehicle at 80 miles per hour. Then when he finally passes you he gives you this evil look at he goes around. Just wanting to be sure you understand how unhappy he was with you blocking the traffic.

And you know that guy that's standing behind you in line that keeps sighing huge sighs so you can really hear and feel how aggravated he is to be stuck in line behind you. Why don't someone teach that guy some patience?

And the worse kind of all, the ones that find fault with all the things in the world, but they never quite see as much fault in themselves. They must have tunnel vision that stares only straight ahead. They never even glance back at themselves.

Wait, I'm seeing a pattern here. I think the guy I'm talking about MUST be me! I have been known to be a little impatient at times. An evil look, yeah, probably talking about me.

But a heavy sigh so those around will pick up on my frustration; well probably me too. But I know I could never be so short sighted as to not see my own faults and fallacies. Could I? Well, possibly.

So the next time some guy gets on your bumper then passes you with an evil eye, just smile as if telling him to chill and take life a little less seriously.

I bet he'll smile back.

What Really Matters?

There is so much discussion in this world about all the things that affect our lives everyday. Certainly the economy, wars around the world and global warming are all important issues. But in the big scheme of things they don't really matter.

I think about people that may be terminally ill and wonder how I would feel about the economy if I had only months to live. The economy would really not be the top priority on my mind.  I know the parents that lost their children are not overly concerned about the debt crisis in our country right now, I know I wouldn't be.

We must stop and be reflective of what actually is important and not get hung up on all the things we see and hear that command our thoughts. Read today's obituaries and decide how important the health care debate is to those folks about to be laid to rest.

I, for one, am not going to get involved and spend my precious time debating political or any other social issues. Yes I believe that in a country where 1% of the people own 95% of the wealth we should not allow others to go hungry or be without some type of health care. Remember "feed the poor, heal the sick" for the Bible thumpers out there.

But those issues are just not going to overshadow my life. I love. I enjoy loving the sexiest, most beautiful, wonderful woman in the world. I love holding her hand, just staring at her and standing amazed at how lucky I am that she goes home with me each night.

I love hearing from and about my kids. They keep me thankful for a good life and make me proud every day that I did everything I could and everything I should to ensure their success and happiness.  They make me re-live in wonder and be thankful for every moment we spent together while they were at home and growing up.

So I guess if I'm the one that had the news that my time was limited, I would spend all the minutes left dwelling on those people that are so important to me - not debating things or issues or politics or religion. And since we all have no idea when our time may arrive, it may be a good idea to live that way everyday.

Live, love, love some more and be happy.

They May Be Wrong

Who do you think determines right or wrong? You ever thought about it? I don't think anyone would question whether it's right or wrong if you destroyed someone's property of caused physical harm to another creature. But in the huge scheme of things who actually makes the determination?

In our society we have laws that tell us what is against the law. If you go above the speed limit AND get caught, you obviously are breaking the law and will probably endure some type of fine or punishment. However, if you don't get caught and you cause no harm was your speeding actually wrong? You broke the law, and you knew you were breaking the law and you still did it.

Just as governments makes laws the other driving force for right and wrong is religion and the doctrines each one teaches. I have a degree in Christianity so I speak from "education" not ignorance.

When I see and hear the right wing dogma that many of the evangelistic personalities are proclaiming, I shutter. And I shutter even more when I see the numbers of poor innocent souls that buy into every word they say.

My only hope is that one day people will learn to think for themselves. Don't take for granted that everything a preacher or politician (that should be a joke, but I'm afraid it's not) says is the truth. Question everything you hear, see and read. Ask about their source, then check it out.

I got an email "forward" from a right wing, religious fanatic (my opinion) encouraging action because of a particular fact that was stated. I decided to check out the "fact" and it was not fact, just someone's perception of the fact.

Anyway just because you're Joel Osteen (very rich nice guy with a great smile and positive message) or John Hagee (full blown religious idiot that will burn in whatever hell he envisions) be sure to do your own thinking.

No preacher, politician, blogger or individual has the corner on truth. Truth is something that is in accordance with fact or reality. Not the opinion of someone who commands the airwaves or written word.

Sex - A Three-Letter Word

I've been admonished on more than one occasion when the subject got anywhere near the birds and the bees not to go there. From what I was told it is pretty embarrassing to get anywhere near that subject.

What I can't understand is how any of us even got here since obviously no one's parents ever participated in any activities that resembles what nature provided for the propagation of our species. Ask anyone and they'll tell you they can't imagine their parents ever doing such a thing. I guess it's the miracle of virgin birth.

I do find it strange, however, that out in the real world the other living creatures seem to have attached no social stigma to the act of reproduction. There are many species that do form and live in pair bonds for their lifetime. So there is some type of relationship upon which they decide to create and raise their offspring.

But we humans, thanks to the keepers of our conscience, the religious and the pious, have placed such reproach upon what nature has provided for us, that it's only with shame and embarrassment can we discuss the natural facts of life.

I'm a believer in the assumption that people will do the right thing if given the opportunity. I think that by our very nature we desire to live within the framework of what's right and wrong. And I understand that is contrary to other popular beliefs.

It's when we make things that are naturally right, wrong, we create an inconsistency that causes physical, emotional and psychological contradictions. And that's when things start to go awry and the whole process becomes perverted.

So it may be time to admit that your parents did not find you in a cabbage patch, however hard that is for you to believe.

How Perfect Would That Be?

I saw her from across the room. She was sitting behind the desk-keeping people like me from getting back into the business part of the building. After all, I was a visitor and she was the receptionist. She might as well have been the security guard since her desk blocked the only entrance to the hall leading to the manager's office.

I was there that day seeking employment. But as usual my mind went elsewhere as soon as I was confronted with such perfect beauty. I could not take me eyes off her and of course my mind was dwelling in places that it shouldn't. If she could have read my thoughts she would surely have been blushing.

I was thinking how wonderful my life would be if I could have that flawless creature as my own. If I could stroll around with her on my arm, lavish her with fine things (at least the finest I could afford), and of course carry that gorgeous creature into my bed each night to dine on her physical pleasures.

How perfect would that be? I would be the envy of the human race.

My heart was racing and my hormones were set in motion just thinking those thoughts. I could already feel the excitement growing. I was entranced; enchanted by a fairy tale princess any knight in shining armor would be envious of.

Alas, I was but a lowly peasant, unworthy of such a glorious prize. I knew I did not stand a chance of riding off into the sunset on my white horse with a princess so special. I would leave her that day, but not forget her.

I would think about her often and sometimes even consider returning to that office for some fabricated reason so I could see her again. I would close my eyes and see her face. I would dream of what it would be like for her to be mine to care for and adore.

But fate did intervene on behalf of this lowly rube from across the tracks. Nature had pre-destined our conjugality. Our union was meant to be. Great bodies of water opened and forests divided to bring us together. Nothing was to preclude this joyful blend of unblemished royalty and an oaf from among the have-nots. All the stars of the universe lined up and the fullness of the moon illuminated our coalescence.

I entered into the matrimony of wonderment and fantasy and continued living with, loving, adoring and worshipping her, and her nobility, my coroneted empress.

I wake each morning and fall asleep each evening bowing in reverence to the natural forces that ordained this consanguinity. I am ever thankful that I was chosen to live such an exalted life enjoying the beauty and physical pleasures of a princess.

Teach Them to Hunt

I enjoy reading and hearing about the kids of friends and family who have been successful in life. This one opened his own business and I am as proud of him as I would be of my own. Another is in his final year of medical school. Others are nurses, social workers (REAL proud of her), teachers, lawyers (good luck with that) and many others have earned degrees and gained employment in all types of rewarding professions.

These "kids with class" have grown up understanding that the world does not owe them a living. They did the things in high school and college and beyond to establish themselves as capable adults able to provide for their families. And these kids I speak of are RESPECTFUL of those that have more experience and wisdom. Respect is another quality that defines class and dignity.

I could probably point to a lot more losers than I could winners. I'm asked over and over again why. In fact one semi-famous person actually ask me to take his son home with us and raise him like my sons were raised, hoping for good results for his son. Of course we didn't and I am not even going to tell you the outcome with this boy. It'll break your heart. But the reasons were pretty obvious looking at the parenting involved.

In the natural world animals spend a few weeks nurturing and feeding their young. Then it's straight to business; learn to stalk, hunt, kill and eat your prey. Or you die.

It's a harsh lesson, but it's reality. If animal parents continued to feed their youngsters, they would never be capable of feeding themselves. And when the parents are finally unable to feed them, they die.

Our kids don't have to kill to eat but they need to learn the skills that enable them to survive in the harsh conditions of life. Those skills are learned early on and continue through life.

When someone comes to me and the kid's 17, then ask what can I do, I can't offer them anything. What needed to be done is already past. It's what you do at 5 and 6 years old that counts.

Teach a child to love and respect those that have wisdom to offer them, to listen and learn from those that have values to teach them, and to admire those with success and aspire to create their own successes and you will never need to worry about them or feed them when they are adults. Unless you want to. And that's another story.

Romance - Kiss Me You Fool

Romance is such a special thing. It's not about sex. Romance is about a particular, extraordinary connection you feel with someone very special and your burning desire to express that feeling.

Romance is holding hands, opening car doors, hugging and kissing (lot's of kissing), smiling and heaps of touching. Romance is sharing your life with another in the most intimate of ways short of actual sexual activity. It's eating from the same fork, drinking from the same straw and using the same chap stick. Anything to feel closer to the one you love and have that intimate contact with their most personal being, feelings, and thoughts.

Romance is being so close when you are sitting together that your legs touch. It's rubbing your toes together when lying in bed. Romance is the fascination you feel about everything your lover says and feels. It's your inability to keep your hands off them when they walk by.

I love the physical contact associated with romance. I never get enough hand holding, toe touching, close up slow dancing and dinner sharing. The more physical contact I have during the day makes my whole attitude improve.

Anytime you walk, hold hands. Feel and enjoy every finger as they are intertwined with yours. Enjoy the sense of security knowing they're there. Let the warmth of their palms fire up your attraction.

Romance should be a part of your normal activity. Go out to dinner and enjoy each other's company as if you are dating. Don't have "date nights", have a date life. There is no special day to be romantic, be romantic every day.

I've never heard of anyone being against romance. You may wish you had more of it in your life. You may feel like it's hopeless, that you'll never have that special romantic feeing from anyone. But you can change that, you must become the romantic.

Next time you go out with someone special, grab their hand and link your fingers. Give it a good squeeze and let that warmth of your affection flow through your palms. You'll feel better and I'll bet they will, too.

I'm Back

I used to use this blog to share my thoughts on sex, money and life but it kept me in trouble with my family. So I deleted my family (extended) and am starting to blog again. I hope you will find something in my writings to get upset about or at least make you think and question your life and how you're living it.

Humans are creatures of habit and we tend to do, believe and act the way we were taught and act the way those around us act/do/believe. I'm saying "throw all that shit out the window" and act/do/believe anyway you want to. It took me 50+ years to decide that I'm sick of being who everyone thought or wished I were and decided to be who I want to be. I've really enjoyed being me - a whole lot more than I enjoyed being who I was supposed to be.

So your assignment for today is to put this blog on your calendar to check everyday AND to decide who you really would like to be. Remember we only have one shot at life (forget afterlife, we've got to work with what we have) and decide it's time to be who you want to be. Forget what everyone expects of you and just lay it all out there.

See you tomorrow.