I Love Being in Love

I love being in love. And I don't mean just being in love with one woman. Including that, I mean being in love with nature and the beautiful things all around us. I love butterflies and pretty birds. I love flowers and flowering trees. I love rainbows and storm clouds. I love sunrises and sunsets. I love gazing into the dark sky at night and trying to spot the constellations and planets. I love the beach and feel of sand between my toes.

I love dogs and cats and learning from them. My dogs love me no matter of my political affiliation. They run up to me and wag their little tales when I come home, even if I've only been gone a few minutes. They could care less where I stand on health care or the war in Iraq. They love me unconditionally in spite of all that. They think I'm the most important being in the universe. 

I love being in love with another person. Humans and dolphins are the only species equipped for having sex for the purpose of pleasure, not just pro-creation. The learned among us have concluded that sex for pleasure helps assure that pairs stay together to raise and nurture their young. Sounds like a great plan to me.

So when we achieve that balance with nature; enjoying all that is around us and has been given to us, we can truly be in love. We can immerse ourselves in the pleasures that nature has provided. And we can enjoy those pleasures purely for the sake of pleasure, as nature intended.

We need to enjoy the flight of the butterflies and hummingbirds and the birds dining at the feeder. And consume all the bounties and pleasures nature has provided for us before this day is over.

Then let's get up and do it again!

In Life There Is No Do Over

I've heard people say they've lived their lives with no regrets. I can't imagine. How can you go through your whole life without doing things you wish you hadn't done and not doing all the things that you wish you had?

I would love to have a "do over" in life. Heck, I might even need several. There seems to be a lot of things I would have done differently if I had known the things I know now.

There are so many things that I wish I had not done. There are just as many things that I wish that I had done. There's a lot of things I wish I never had said. And there are just as many things that I should have said when I was given the chance.

So how can you avoid wanting a do over? Well you can listen to what other, more experienced people tell you. But as I've said many times "where's the fun in that?" I know if I could guide my boys through the mistakes that I made and they don't have to make, it would save them a lot of money and probably heartache. Thank goodness they have listened to me about many things and they are in a much better position at this point in their lives than I was.

So my experienced suggestions for all those that may want to hear them, and surely ignore them:

1 - Choose your mate carefully because once children are brought into the world they need both parents to see them through life.

2 - Study, read and learn all you can while still in school. The education and knowledge you gain in your youth will be what supports you as you age. Prepare now and enjoy the results later.

3 - Enjoy life to the very fullest; you never know when it may end. Break free of the shackles of dogma that may bind you, make your own decisions.

As "old blue eyes" used to sing, "Regrets, I have few . . .but I did it my way".

Do things your way, with the counsel of others with greater experience, and keep the regrets to as few as possible. In life there are no do overs.

It’s Just a Touch

I like my own space, especially when I’m around people I don’t know very well and even around some I know too well. But I’ve found that I feel like I know someone better and make a more sincere connection if they touch me or I touch them. Just a reassuring touch on the forearm to personalize a thought, a touch on the shoulder or a pat on the back to acknowledge or welcome.

These are simple touches that immediately make me feel closer to that person. Surely we don’t like the “all hands” kind of guy that paws all over you. And certainly there are men, family included, that tend to touch a female in places that he shouldn’t, even if they are family. No grown man should be patting a female on the butt unless that female is your significant other. Butts are better left untouched by all others.

And here's something your mother never told you. When someone walks up behind you and offers to massage your shoulders, they really are wanting to be intimate. Anytime someone uses their hands to rub on someone elses body, there is a sublime (or not so sublime) message there. It is a way to "innocently" tell another person that you would really like to rub and massage their body in less than innocent ways. So the next time someone offers to massage my shoulders, I'm going to turn around and wink at them because I know what they're up to.

But barring those among us that overdo a sensitive touch, we need to all be more physical. I think we need to learn to hug more. But in my opinion ALL hugs should be originated by the female if it’s a male/female hug. I would never move toward a female with the intent to hug her unless she had reached to hug me first. And the reason is simple. There are a few men who love to feel a female every chance they get and will take advantage of this innocent behavior to fulfill their own needs. So girls, when these men approach you for a hug, put your hand out for a handshake. This puts space between you and the groper and keeps them at a distance.

So ladies, anytime you get the chance and feel comfortable about it, hug those near you. Squeeze hard and pat them on the back. And men and ladies, reach forward and touch the hand or arm of someone you are having conversation with to show them that what they are saying is of utmost importance to you and you are connecting with them, not only mentally but physically.

And when you walk by someone close to you, reach over and put your hand on their shoulder. Make that connection. It's simple, it's harmless, and it will enrich the life of the person you touch and your own life, as well.

Perfect Imperfection

I guess when you hear me ramble about how wonderful my children are and how amazing my princess is, you might get the mistaken idea that I have a perfect life. I call it the essence of perfect imperfection.

That simply means that my life and everything about it is SO full of imperfection that to me it is perfect. I don't want to be one of those people who is always smiling and their mental attitude is always up. I enjoy frowning when I'm not pleased with the world. I enjoy savoring my sullen state in my solitude when I feel like it.

I enjoy the pouring rain as much as I enjoy the sunshine. I've probably had as much fun when I was broke as I've ever had when I wasn't. My vacations with my family were just as perfect riding in that old blue Ford van as they would have been in some fancier automobile.

It seems that the sun always rises in the east and sets in the west no matter how bad or how good things in my life are going. The birds still sing, the osprey still fishes. My puppy dogs still run to greet me when I walk in the door no matter how clever or how dull I am.

My kids are great. And I'm sure if you listen to me talk about them you would be positive I had the absolute greatest kids in the world. While that may be fact, you should be aware of their imperfections. 

Their lack of perfection was taught to them by two less than perfect parents. And they have done their best to perfect the art of imperfection. But I really can't imagine three grown young men that have a more balanced and enjoyable, even if less than perfect. life.

So enjoy the dark, it makes the light even brighter. Enjoy the floods, and remember how nice it is going to be when it dries out. Know that when you have a bad day or bad week, that it will get better. The tide will still rise and fall, just as before.

Wherever we are in the world and in life, we can find something to make our imperfect lives a lot more perfect. So enjoy the imperfection - it's just perfect!

I Make No Apology - For Apologizing

Seems I've been doing an awful lot of apologizing lately. Certainly everyone says and does things they shouldn't do or say and later feel they should apologize for it. Actually, I can't remember the last time someone apologized to me. So maybe it's just me that says and does all these hurtful things.

I certainly do my share of shooting from the hip. I can't say I do a lot better when I sit back and think about it. Many times I write stuff that I've been thinking about and stewing over for days, just so that I can attempt to say the right thing. But some subjects are almost impossible to write about with any degree of truthfulness and not step on someone's toes - ultimately hurting feelings.

So based on that assumption, I guess we should all just keep our trap shut. That's what my sweetheart tells me all the time. But I just feel that if someone has got something to say and it's really how they feel and from their heart, maybe they ought to say it. I'm not defending people who write and say mean things just to retort to someone else.

So if I've said or written something to offend you, I'll probably do it again. Mostly because those that I offend know the subjects on which I write and continue to come and read my postings.

So I apologize in advance for all the mean things that I may unintentionally say or write that may offend you and hurt your feelings in the future.

I mean it.

A Special Kindness

How can you not love dogs, or cats, or any animal for that matter? But I'm really not talking about the animals; I'm talking about the people that love them and those that don't.

I know people who wouldn't miss a birthday card, a funeral, or visiting the sick in the hospital but they wouldn't give a stray dog a second look. How do you figure that? These people seem to be full of so much love and care but not for anything but humans, humans in need.

Maybe it's the pat on the back or the thank-you or the recognition you get when you help or are around needy humans. Humans can be vocal about their gratefulness and make you feel good about yourself. I don't know, I'm not as much of a people person as some others.

But I do know this; there is no richer love than offered to you by an animal. My dogs really don't care what I think or write, how I look or smell, or what mood I'm in, they still jump up and down with joy each time they see me. To them I am the center of the universe. They never talk back or argue with me.

I have four dogs to care for because I have a soft place in my heart for animals. I picked up the last two because I wanted to provide a better environment for them. I have almost picked up others but I really don't have any more room (or money) and it wouldn't be fair to those that I already have.

My observation is that all humans should be required to care for some type of animal. There is a special love and understanding required for caring for animals and we need to use that part of us. If you don't you are selfish, self-centered and unwilling to do your part to make the world a better place.

If you don't walk in the door each day to an excited puppy dog jumping around your feet welcoming you home, you are missing one the most special feelings life has to offer.

Regrets - I Have a Few

I chose this title from the famous Sinatra song "I Did It My Way" because I see and hear people talking about their guilt and regrets. I don't know if I'm proud or sorry to say that I have no regrets and very little guilt. That may surprise all you guilt-mongers but that's just the way I am.

Certainly there are things that I would do differently if given a do-over because we can't do everything right the first time. But that doesn't mean that I regret what I did, I could just do something better if given a second, or third, or fourth chance.

So what creates this guilt in your life? Is it other people that expect more of you than you can give? Or do you have some dark little secret that only you are aware of? Are you still living within the Judeo-Christian ethics system that will weigh you down and bury you with guilt? Or is your guilt from the strict guidelines of overbearing parents or the unachievable expectations even from our own children, which by the way they learned from us?

Get past those things that are holding you back from enjoying all life has to offer. You should begin today taking control away from those that have caused you to restrain from all the fun things you want to do. It's your life, YOU need to be in control.

So sit down and think of all the things you've always wanted to do but were afraid someone would judge you and you would be ashamed if someone caught you. My hedonistic philosophy says If it feels good, won't get you arrested and doesn't hurt anyone else it's definitely something you should do. And don't be embarrassed or ashamed.

Come out of the closet of shame. Nothing should bring you shame that gives you pleasure. Shame, guilt and regret are matters of the mind that are created by OTHERS and placed upon YOU.

I will not be shackled by the guilt YOU feel!