They Never Learn

I was listening to the conversation of some of our friends the other day. It was girl talk, but I was paying attention. Observing, as I like to call it. Seems like a lot of people are not really enjoying their relationship, marital or otherwise. These ladies had been married more than once and were still not happy with their current spouse.

I know when we're young we tend to make mistakes and some can cost us dearly. However, after we've made a mistake hopefully we'll learn and not make the same mistake again and again. I know many young girls (and guys) who obviously made a mistake about their partner when they were young. And hopefully they will take more time and utilize their previous experience to make a better decision the next time.

But if you paid attention to these particular women and their discussion you'd think they'll never learn. They were old enough, wise enough, and had enough experience to choose carefully when they married their current spouse. But they still screwed up. Or so they think.

Does this mean that some people will never enjoy a long satisfactory relationship their whole lives? It makes you wonder. And if not, why not? Is there something in their upbringing that created this issue.

I would always suggest that someone should try their best to make a relationship work because the grass is NOT always greener. But if it ain't happening AND there are no children involved, move on! And use better judgement the next time.

Nobody Really Pays Attention

I don't know about you but I read and observe a lot that goes on in the world utilizing the internet, tv, and other media sources. The interesting thing to note is that most of what you see and hear could tend to cause you to be pretty depressed. There's pretty horrible news being reported all the time.

And then there is the other side of that coin and that's the purveyors of all things good that will make you rich, make you thin, build your muscles and make you the most positive thinking, can-do person in the universe; for a price. The solutions these people/companies are offering usually appeal to our greedy side or our egos. We all want to be rich and pretty.

Sorry to tell you, folks, but don't waste your money. Some of you are never going to be rich and there's not enough money in the world to make some of you pretty. I hate to have to be the one to tell you, but someone should.

But there are a few of us "crying in the wilderness" that say forget the riches and good looks. Go for the happiness and all the other wonderful things life has to offer. Have a good time. Be free and open, learn and experience, cast off the bonds of an oppressive society. Just let go and have fun.

And I have found that when I finally "let go" and really started having fun, everything else kind of crept into place, too. When I'm feeling good about myself and life I want to do positive things that affect my material life. I want to eat healthier which in turn makes me more attractive. (at least I think being fit and lean is attractive, each to his own thoughts on that).

So bless you Tony Robbins, Chuck Norris, Christie Brinkley, Victoria Principle, Marie Osmond and all you internet and infomercial folks selling good looks, wrinkle-free faces, financial freedom, and six-pack abs. Certainly what you are offering may be worth the price, but for my money I think I'll just have some more fun!

It Must Be Me -Part II

I was in line at a fast food restaurant yesterday and waiting patiently as the first guy places a huge order. No problem, he was there first. There was a guy behind him then me, in line 3rd. We would just have to wait our turn. The guy up front finishes and pays, the guy in front of me steps up to the register and the cashier ask for his order. He puts his hand to his chin and starts perusing the menu like they just put it up there. I'm thinking, we've been standing here for 10 minutes and you wait until you step to the register to decide what you want to order?

Riding back on the freeway, which is now THREE lanes wide, we are cruising at a comfortable 73 miles an hour. We approach traffic stretched across all three lanes. Driver in the far left lane is going about 69 miles per and refuses to budge. We have three lanes of traffic on a freeway totally tied up because someone can't read the sign "Slower Traffic Keep Right". Note it doesn't give exception for slower traffic traveling at the speed limit, it just says SLOWER traffic keep right. If he would just move over, a common courtesy, we could all go about our merry way.

In line to pay for my groceries while the clerk is finishing checking out the lady in front of me. The clerk finally finishes the process and gives the customer her total. Now this lady starts looking for her purse and then digging for her wallet and starts beginning to get her money together. I guess it was a big surprise to her after the 10 minute check-out process that the clerk was going to ask her for money!

So that I don't have to write a blog describing your bad behavior, please decide what you want to order before you step up to the register, move your ass over to the right lanes on the freeway when faster traffic approaches you, AND get your money out and ready WHILE the clerk is ringing up your groceries.

Is that TOO much to ask? Have a nice day!

With Age Comes Liberation

There's not a lot of things good about getting older. People tend to gain weight, their hair turns gray (and falls out), skin sags, and on and on. It's not a pretty process.

But the one positive thing you gain with age is the freedom to think, say and do as you darn well please. We spend our childhood obeying our elders and living under their rules and guidelines. As teenagers we sometime stretch those rules and boundaries as we begin to experience life. But we still understand our limitations.

Once we are married and have children of our own we tend to live within certain confines of our vocation and social life so that we fit in and set a good example for others. We want to provide the best role model for our offspring as possible.

But once the kids are raised, educated and on their own and our social and financial situations have become somewhat more secure, we can finally relax. We have earned the freedom to be ourselves and we deserve to exercise the rights afforded by that freedom.

If we really want to, we can stay out all night, drink too much, express our opinions and say what the heck we want because we've earned that privilege. We spend the first 50 - 60 years living on the terms of everyone else so we should at least enjoy the remaining years living on our own terms.

So all you kids under 50 years old, respect the freedom afforded with our age. Hopefully you live long enough to become liberated in life, too.

Ideas, Ideals and Ideology

Ideas - a conception existing in the mind as the result of understanding, awareness, or activity. An opinion, view or belief, intention.

I have a lot of ideas. Someone told me just this week that's why I've been relatively successful and never really have done without anything. I'm resourceful. But sometimes my ideas get me in trouble. Everyone doesn't appreciate my ideas, especially when it crosses with theirs.

I'm thankful that I have ideas and I'm not afraid of them or sharing them. I'm just sorry that everyone doesn't understand that and respect and appreciate me and my ideas.

Ideals - conception of something in perfection. Standard of perfection,

My ideals are simple and family based: I believe there are two basic and imperative responsibilities in our lives - our children and our parents. We are the responsibility of our parents until we have children of our own, then those children require our care and diligence and they become our responsibility. As our children get older and are able to fend for themselves, then our attention should be for the interest of our parents.

I've taken good care of both my children and my mother. I have never wavered on those responsibilities because that is such a big part of who I am. I am beholden to my mother who took such good care of me and since I am responsible for my children being on this earth I take their care and that responsibility very seriously. And it shows. I'm very proud of them.

And by the way, one cannot be self-serving, self-centered or otherwise egotistical when they are totally consumed with the care of others. My life's devotion has been with caring for my spouse, children and mother. Whomever thinks otherwise is not very observant and ignorant to the real truth.

Ideology - the body of doctrine, myth, and/or beliefs that guides individuals, movements, or institutions. A philosophy. Ideology has also been defined as a "prescriptive doctrine that is not supported by rational argument"

My ideology is simple: It doesn't matter if you are Hindu, Muslin, Christian, Republican or Democrat you have the right to believe anything you want. I will not debate or argue with those beliefs or disrespect you in any way because of them.

In fact, I will totally respect your beliefs and views. I just ask that you respect whatever ideology I may or may NOT have. 'Nuff said.

Looks Can Be Deceiving

I've been criticized frequently for my belief that there are no bad children, only bad parents. I'm sticking by my guns, though. Each case that I observe seems to point back to the parents every time. I'm sure there may be others where the parents are not to blame, but no one has pointed any out yet.

We know a family that appeared to be the typical, everyday working American family. All their kids appeared to be normal, as they participated in sports and other activities. I will add that the parents were very conservative and evangelical to a point but this appeared to be a perfect family.

When these youngsters reached their late teens, you could see the changes coming. Without going into details, all of the kids turned to heavy alcohol and even drug use. None ever was successful in a relationship (so far) and have been married and living with many different mates. And their career success is mixed, at best, and that's being kind.

We'll never know what went on inside the four walls of this All-American, conservative, religious family. But I can assume from what I've seen as the results, there was much more than met the eye. I wish there could be an actual case study done of how such a seemingly normal family could produce results in ALL of their kids like they did. You can't tell me everything was "normal".

This was not a matter of maintaining control of your children. This father always had control of his. They were not bad children, in public at least. But once they left the confines of that home they did a 180 and have been the worst examples of human being for the 20 years since.

Looks can be deceiving. Sometimes the impressions we get from people and their families must be entirely different from the truth. Maybe it's the multiple personalities that families have taken on in order to be accepted within the societies in which they want to be a part.

Good luck with that.

Spread Your Wings

I grew up in a medium sized southern town that really had everything a normal person would need. There were plenty of job opportunities because of a local air force base and several large industrial-manufacturing companies in the area. For most people this would be enough - a place to make your living, raise your children and be buried within a few miles of each other.

That was not enough for me. We always vacationed at the beach when I was a kid whether we could afford it or not. As I grew into a teenager I felt an even stronger pull drawing me there. The sun, the water, the sand, all made me feel very special. I knew I belonged in the warm sun, near the blue water with sand between my toes.

Why do people get that certain feeling from living at the beach? I for one am particularly fond of bikinis and I always felt like the closer I was to the beach the more girls in bikinis I would get to enjoy. That's true. And that's a great reason to be living at the beach.

I'm not very fond of neckties and wearing coats and jackets. I'm not real crazy about wearing shoes, except for flip-flops. So again, the laid back attitude of a beach town would probably be more accepting of my lackadaisical manner of dress.

I could go on and name a myriad of reasons why I belong here and was born to live here, but that's not my purpose. I did have the spunk to make the hard decision to leave the comfort and security offered me in my hometown. And that, by far, was the hardest thing I've ever done.

Picking up roots, starting a new career, and moving a growing family away from our extended local family was difficult to say the least. I had second thoughts over the first six months of our move and would have easily gone back. But my immediate family backed me all the way. They were determined that there was no turning back.

If you have a dream to go somewhere or do something, you need to be sure that you follow that dream. Our life has been so much better than we ever could have hoped for back in our hometown of safety and security. Certainly we've had many obstacles and issues to deal with, but we were here together and capable of overcoming whatever stood in our way.

Go for it. Spread your wings. Reach out for what you previously thought was impossible. Take a chance. Don't go to your grave thinking about all the things you wished you had done.

Think about the possible rewards - girls in bikinis!